RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Anonymous asked: My girlfriend hates that I drink. I'm not an alcoholic, I drink on occasion, like at family gatherings and holidays. I have a high tolerance, but I know when I should stop drinking and I've absolutely never drank around her at all. I get that she cares about me, and she's had experiences where she's lost a few people from drinking and driving, and her sister goes out to drink all the time, but I like to have fun still at parties. What can I do to make her worry less about me drinking?

Are you sure that that’s the only reason why she hates the fact that you’re drinking? Because it might be that she’s secretly worried that you getting drunk might lead you to doing something like cheating? Ok I don’t want you to get paranoid. I think what you can do is when you’re at parties, text her once in a while and update her what you’re doing. I don’t know but us girls, find peace when our guy tells us what he’s doing and tells us that he’s thinking of us especially when they are somewhere where they can meet other people. Then after partying, try to see her or visit her and just chat a little so that she knows that 1. you’re not drunk and 2. you didn’t end up with someone else from the party. That way you’er showing her that you can be trusted. Hope I helped :)

Anonymous asked: My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months, and are in a long distance relationship (3 hours away). This has been my longest relationship, and her first relationship. When it comes down to it, I have a lot of issues. Basically, I don't like confronting people about thing because I end up getting emotional, too afraid, and start crying, I'm basically afraid of "fucking shit up" with people, I'm too afraid to call or text because I'm afraid that I'm bothering people, I prefer -

cont.

people texting or calling me first, which obviously causes issues in out communication. She doesn’t like to text and when she does text, it’s always one worded texts and she’ll either kill the conversation or just not reply back at all. I used to blame it all on how busy she was at school, so I let it go, but now, she’s been out of school for almost two weeks and she hasn’t said one word to me or started up a conversation with me at all and it’s been really upsetting because it feels like we never talk anymore like we used to before going out, where she would actually text me and talk to me via IM and Skype. I feel really bad for saying this, but I’m really questioning our relationship right now because she doesn’t even bother to talk to me. 1.) How go I, an insecure person with anxiety issues, tell my girlfriend of six months that she’s hurting me with her lack of effort in the communication area? That her not even taking the small extra step to at least send me a “Goodmorning/Goodnight” text, or even a very simple “Hey” makes me feel more alone than I did when I was single? 2.) How do I tell my girlfriend of six months that I want to step up our relationship (Like, more than little pecks on the lips, because that’s all we’ve done) but not make it sound like I want to have sex? I want to become more intimate with my significant other. I don’t want to scare them away, but I think that we’ve been dating long enough (about a year and a half) to at least take a step up with this relationship. What should I do?

ANSWER:

Ok for your first question, you should just ask her if she has time because you want to tell her something. Now, don’t make it sound like there’s a huge problem because that might make her don’t wanna talk to you but just be casual. And when you finally get the chance to talk, tell her that you miss her terribly and ask her lovingly if you could set a schedule wherein the two of could spend time communicating with each other. Tell her that it always, always make you fall in love with her more when she sends you sweet texts. Just talk to her in a loving manner so it wouldn’t make her feel like you’re being demanding but just wants to spend time with the girl you love.

Ok for your second question, if you’re 17 and below maybe being too intimate isn’t really appropriate. But if you’re in the right age already, maybe you can tell her in another time. Intimacy is something that shouldn’t be forced or else instead of it making your relationship grow, forcing it might end the relationship. I think just move forward when the time is right and the right time is when BOTH OF YOU are ready. I wish you the best! :)

Anonymous asked: I'm in a lesbian relationship and I've told most of my family that I was going out with a girl. My girlfriend of six months has only told one of her family members about the relationship, and that was her mom. She's too afraid to tell her dad about me, and we can't really be alone over her house without her Dad and sister finding out about us. Should I be upset because she's wanting to keep out relationship secret and not family public?

You shouldn’t be upset but you should be rather understanding. Do you love this girl? If you do, you should understand the situation. Although it’s different when she wants to totally keep the relationship secret without wanting to somehow tell her whole family about the two of you. But if she’s just taking her time then it’s ok. Just be the best partner you can be because if you pressure her or show her you’re upset that could damage your relationship. Wish you guys the best :)

Anonymous asked: 1) My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 months now. He lives an hour away from me, but I usually end up getting to visit him more than he comes to visit me because his mother is very strict and doesn't let him go. We usually see each other at least once a month. However, lately he's been acting different. He's had a LOT of stress from school (his mom thinking he won't graduate and grounding him) but he acts different. He never says good morning, doesn't talk as much (texting),

2) and when I say “I love you” he says “I know” (Which is a reference to our matching Star Wars rings but he hasn’t said “I love you too” or been the first one to say “I love you” in awhile). Even when going to bed he just says “G’night, love ya!”. He just used to seem more excited in our relationship, happier. Is this from all of the stress or is there something wrong?

ANSWER

He might be really stressed. But I think the only way you would know what’s really on his mind is if you ask him. Although, his answers will depend on how you’ll ask him. You see, guys seem to be intimidated when they are made to deal with their emotions. So, I suggest that you ask him in a loving way like… “I really like it when you say you love me…how come I haven’t heard that in a while from you?” Make sure you say this in a very sweet tone not in a nagging, insecure way. And from there ask him about how he sees your relationship now. You see, when the relationship is over the honeymoon phase the girl usually is the first one to notice it. I suggest just be your sweet loving self when communicating with him. If he doesn’t text you much or anything just tell him “Awww are you super stressed today? maybe we can just talk later if you’re not feeling well at this moment?” Something along those lines. The key is don’t nag because that will end up with the both of you arguing. Guys are not good with their feelings. Sometimes, nothing’s wrong but they act like there is. Sometimes there’s something wrong and they’d act like there isn’t. They are complicated. And the only way they can show you their real feelings is if you make them feel that they can trust you with their emotions. Wish you guys the best! :)

Anonymous asked: What's the meaning behind a guy breaking up with you after a 2 year relationship and the reason being because "You deserve someone better" "I'm not the right one for you" ? We argue everyday. He's always getting into trouble and he's gotten me into some stuff. He claims he just doesn't want me to mess up my life anymore. But still claims he still loves me. He says "We CAN"T be together" but then says " We might" and he doesn't want to say anything to bring my hopes up. I'm confused.

He might be developing feelings for someone else OR he might have lost his feelings for you. I think guys feel guilty when they know within themselves that they no longer love someone so they come up with these vague reasons. I would never know the real reason but usually, they do something to make you hate them, so that you’re the one who will end the relationship but sometimes girls forgive guys so much and so they’ll (boys) just come up with these reasons to end the relationship. Of course he’ll say he loves you still, and who knows, he really loves you still but it’s so difficult to deal with a person who is so unsure of his feelings. Here’s my advice, do not rush into being together again. I know you still love him and you cling to what he said that “He still loves you” but that’s not enough for the both of you or for you to make him be with you again in a relationship. I say give it time. As much as possible, limit your contact with him then use this time to fully reflect on your relationship. What is the real problem in your relationship? Is it something that can be fixed? Is it something worth fixing? What it will require the BOTH of you to fix it? You know, it’s really heartbreaking to be left by the one you love and trust me, I KNOW how it feels. But sometimes, we can’t just force people to do what WE want them to do. If within yourself, you know that he’s the one for you then fight for him. Fight for him not in such a way that you’ll be pathetic and will plead him and stuff. Fight for him by showing him that you respect yourself, you respect him and your relationship. Never diss him like, on the internet and such because you will regret doing it. Fight for him by waiting for him, trusting in him that he’ll find his way back to you. Be strong. And if it will make you feel better, know that you’re not the only person experiencing this.